Assalamu Alaikum girlie🌸

Let’s talk about guilt.

The one that comes from social expectations around money.

The group chat where everyone's planning a trip after Eid but you have other goals.

The friend who's getting married and you're expected to be a bridesmaid (another dress, another gift, another trip you didn't budget for).

The matching abayas for Eid that someone sends in the group chat like "we're all getting these, right?"

And you're sitting there thinking:

"I don't really want to spend money on this... but I don't want to be the one who says no."

So you say yes.

You zelle the money. You order the abaya. You book the reservation.

And the whole time, there's this knot in your stomach.

You show up, but you're not fully present.

You're doing mental math during dinner. You're thinking about the debit card bill.

And instead of feeling connected to your friends, you feel resentment.

"Why do we always have to do the most expensive option?"

"I love her, but I can't keep doing this..."

That resentment builds. And it poisons the very relationships you were trying to protect.

As a people pleaser, I always struggled to say no, until I heard Dr. John Delony say: "Choose guilt over resentment."

This quote has literally changed my life and has become a principle I live by.

Guilt is temporary. It's that uncomfortable feeling when you disappoint someone. It stings for a moment, but it fades.

Whereas, resentment grows. It sits in your chest. It changes how you show up. It makes you bitter toward people you actually care about.

When you say yes out of guilt, you're choosing short-term relief but long-term resentment.

When you say no with kindness, you're choosing short-term guilt but long-term peace.

Let's say your friends are planning an Eid activity that doesn’t fit your eid budget.

Instead of saying yes while secretly dreading it and being mad at everyone, say:

"That spot is beautiful, but it’s outside my budget. I want to celebrate Eid together! Would anyone be down to do something different?”

Or if it's the matching abayas:

"These are gorgeous! I'm sitting this one out though - I've got other goals I'm prioritizing. See you guys there Inshaa Allah"

Notice what you're NOT doing:

You're just being honest, kind, and clear.

The people who truly care about you will respect your boundaries.

You're not being "difficult" when you protect your financial peace. You're being responsible and intentional.

If you're feeling the weight of this right now...

Setting boundaries around money doesn't make you selfish. It makes you self-aware.

And having a plan makes it SO much easier to know when to say yes and when to say no.

The Ramadan Money Plan helps you get clear on what you can your to money so you're not making decisions out of panic or pressure.

When you know your numbers, saying no becomes easier. You're not guessing. You know what works for you.

This Ramadan, we’re not faking it or neglecting ourselves. We’re choosing guilt over resentment.

Cheering you on,
Fatimah